Happy 2017 from us!

I was going to put together a Christmas letter to send out with our Christmas cards this year, but with the busyness of the holidays, time did not allow. So here is our 2016 in review and an update on how we are doing!

After beginning 2016 with hopeful hearts that we would continue our life together in the States in the spring, we endured devastation as Pieter was considered inadmissible by U.S. border control in May. This was our lowest point of the year, but we were able to push forward and make the most of the moments we were able to spend together in 2016.

I would have never imagined I would get the opportunity to travel to so many different countries, but because of our unfortunate circumstances we were able to visit Paris, France; Cologne, Germany; and Agadir, Morocco. I have become quite the expert at packing suitcases, moving in and out of rental homes, booking airline tickets, and maneuvering through airports.

My favorite traveling companion, Pieter, has become an experienced travel planner. I have never seen someone so handy with a map. He organized all of our trips and the adventures we went on. It took us four hours to get to Paris, France in July. This was an eye-opening first excursion out of my comfort zone, but it made me want to travel more. While in Paris, we celebrated my 23rd birthday with a river cruise, sightseeing to Notre Dame, the Sacre Ceur, and the Eifel tower.

A magical trip to the Efteling theme park was our first big trip together, not including our time spent in Amsterdam at Easter. Highlights from that trip were the amazing continental breakfast at the hotel, the unique fairy tale decor of the Efteling hotel, waiting in line for an hour to ride a roller coaster that lasted 5 seconds, and feeling like children again as we took in the wonder of the theme park.

During our time apart in the fall Pieter and I worked on planning a trip to go on in the winter. We had considered visiting Spain, Iceland, Ireland, or Norway, but somehow settled on a trip to Morocco!

Agadir, Morocco was like no place I had ever visited. We took advantage of every day we had there and enjoyed relaxing by the pool, an authentic Moroccan dinner for two, camel riding and dune buggying through the desert, a traditional Hammam couples massage, and a tour of the impoverished villages in the countryside in the Atlas mountains. Many memories were made that we will look back on for years to come. I am so thankful we were able to go on this special adventure together.

Back at home in the Netherlands it was time for me to begin packing my bags to return to my life in the States. I am now back home til the end of March. I am ending this challenging year with a positive and grateful attitude. As always, I have BIG PLANS for the new year. The year 2017 will come with a lot of gradual changes and more hopeful waiting, but I am anticipating more personal growth and lifelong memories to be made!

Happy New Year! 

My Double Life

Upon my fifth return to the Netherlands I found myself ill for the entire first week. My flight here was quick and simple, no issues whatsoever, until about ten minutes before descending. My ears closed up and I could not hear as we went from 35,000 feet to ground level. Normally my ears are affected slightly by the drop in air pressure and then they return to normal after a few hours or a day at the most, this time, due to having a slight cold, my ears underwent extreme trauma during descent. 

For the past week I have been fighting a stubborn cold and what is known as "barotrauma" of my right ear. A stuffiness, loss of hearing, and pain in my neck and ear has taken place due to fluid being lodged behind my ear drum. This fluid can take up to three months to completely heal. So, not the greatest start to my trip. 

Our fourth rental home in Oostkapelle is quite lovely. As all the other homes we have stayed in, it is small, but comfortable. I am grateful to have a small space to myself, a warm bed to sleep in at night, and a roof over my head from the dreary Dutch weather we have been experiencing. 

It has rained just about every day since my return. As I sit here tonight in the silence of this space, sipping tea, snuggled in my favorite blanket from home, I find myself unable to fully be at ease. I do not know when the last time was that I could completely relax my mind. Surely it was before this situation began. 
What is on my mind tonight? the presidential election taking place in my home country tomorrow, my family and how much I am missing them, and my future... 

During all the other times I have visited Holland there has always been a glimmer of hope for our future. A sense of knowing there was always something else we could do to help Pieter's immigration case. Not anymore. 

This trip to visit my husband is unlike any other. It holds far more pressure and anxiety than the rest. I will spend two months here and return to the States on December 21st. I plan on returning here again at the end of March until early June. Planning my life in "Europe" and "America" segments has become something I have grown terribly well at. This is the last trip that I will spend not knowing whether my husband can return to the United States or not. 

The pressure of thinking I may be forced to make this country my home in a few short months is often too much to bear. I have conversed with various people about my worries concerning this matter and often they respond with something such as "You can just move over there [the Netherlands], right?" RIGHT! I can! 

Europe has a three month process, in which you can remain in the country for, to gain permanent residency in the country in which your spouse resides. Yes, I could move to the Netherlands if need be. But, I must consider all I would be leaving behind and how challenging it would be to develop a life of my own here in this country. 

My main issue is leaving my family behind. If my family was able to pack up and come with me to the Netherlands, I would basically move here tomorrow. The thought of having to go through the rest of my life without their comradery, laughter, support, and encouragement makes my entire body ache. But it is nearly impossible to convince the immigration authorities that I rely heavily on my family's moral and emotional support and find it to be my duty to be by their side through every minor or major family event.

My next concern would be my need to remain surrounded by my Christian community back at home. Here, there are no English speaking churches nearby. I have no where to grow in my walk with the Lord. Pieter and I need to be in a community where we can have fellow Christians encouraging us and challenging us in that area. The immigration authorities have no desire to hear about my relationship with Christ and how its growth would be hindered if I were to relocate to another country. 

Lastly, I worry about the many things I was actually able to list in our "extreme hardship" waiver... the things the USCIS will get a chance to review. Seventy-nine pages of "proof" that I cannot leave the United States and that I need Pieter to be able to be with me there. Concerns such as my mental and physical health, future employment opportunities, financial concerns, and my personal independence/functionality in one country compared to another. 

Our final set of papers was finally turned in and received on October 11th. Processing times for this critical waiver are four months. News on our destiny will be finalized around January or February. Thank you for your patience. 

In a way I am relieved to think that in four months this two year journey will all be over, one way or another. Living a double life has taken it's toll on me. I have shared many times before how exhausted I have become. To keep going back and forth from an independent, married woman in Woodstock, Virginia who works as a waitress, interacting with people 35-40 hours a week to a woman who cleans house and barely talks to or sees a person all week is strange, unhealthy, and wrong.

My bitterness has grown, but so has my strength. I continue to realize that I need something so much greater than myself to hold onto and I find it difficult to imagine how anyone can go through life without having a relationship with Jesus Christ. 

Every night as I try to fall asleep I feel the Devil trying to creep in and fill my head with doubt and fear. In order to get past this miserable feeling, I begin quoting memory verses I learned many years ago in Sunday school. Over and over again I recite them in my head knowing that nothing in this world is more true or lasting than the words of God- verses such as Proverbs 3:5-6, Philippians 4:13, Psalm 56:3-4, Psalm 23, Deuteronomy 31:8. 

I hold on to Him and imagine Him holding tightly on to me, because He is the only thing strong enough to comfort me. The reassurance of knowing that He holds my life in His hands is the only thing that can calm me down after panicking about the possibility of my future and my hopes and dreams being shattered. 

I must remind myself that these are selfishly "my" dreams and "my" hopes. Through the years I was always able to plan ahead and picture things just the way I wanted them to go. November and December are my months to make lists of goals and things I hope to achieve in the year to come. This may be the biggest lesson in "giving up control" that God will ever give me. 

"Where will I be in 10 years?" The picture is so unclear. I ask myself "Where do I want to be in 10 years?" and the beautiful picture of a cottage in the mountains, a few kids, a dog, a career, and my amazing husband brings tears to my eyes and a stabbing pain in my heart. 
But this picture is simply what "I" have in mind for "MY" future. I have to re-ask myself that very same question and answer with "I want to be exactly where God needs me to be." I trust He has a bigger plan for me than I could ever put together on my own. This is called surrender and it is not easy, but God is the master planner and He sees time from the very beginning to the very end, so why shouldn't we trust Him with our lives?

Twenty-One Months

On this quiet, peaceful, rainy, Saturday evening off work I want to give a short update on the life of Pieter and Lydia. For those who have been following from the beginning or for those who jumped into this messy journey with us somewhere in the middle, this weekend marks twenty-one months of my "living in two countries" and Pieter and I being apart far too often.

This year has absolutely flown by! I guess this is how life gets with each birthday that passes after the age of 22. Weeks and months keep passing, life just keeps rolling by. I fly out in just two and a half weeks to live my Dutch life for two months. The way things are looking, this could very well be my last short trip to the Netherlands. Our final papers have been filed and either good news or bad news will be shared with us in the next four to five months. We have gotten good at waiting, but can honestly say we are ready for this to all be over.

I want to take a humble minute to ask for every person reading this to say a short prayer for this to finally be the end of our long journey of fighting to get my husband back to the States. Thank you

Here's to Two Years!

This post goes out to my man on the day we became husband and wife. Today we celebrate two years of marriage. Not many of you have had the chance of meeting my husband or getting to know him, but I hope that each of you will get the opportunity to meet him someday soon. 

I met Pieter at my first job at Brethren Woods Camp and Retreat Center. He was a foreign exchange counselor and a fun loving, goofy guy who was friends with everyone. His leadership qualities and his sense of humor were the first traits that caught my eye. It was not until the end of that summer that I realized "I really like this guy". The two of us had to wait seven months before going on our first date due to living in different countries. The ride to getting to know each other from there was never an easy one, but thirteen months after that first date, we got engaged and four months later we became a married couple! 

Our wedding day could have easily been a foreshadowing into how challenging our future together would be. I had a horrible cold and an ear infection, I felt miserable. I hardly remember the events of the day due to the Mucinex and the antibiotics I was on. Our little life together began and things were so happy and simple. Those four months we had as being normal husband and wife were wonderful. I wish I could go back in time and enjoy them a little more.

Christmas 2014

This has been quite a challenging year for the two of us. Last September we were blessed with a trip to Germany and Austria with Pieter's grandparents. In November I flew home for the holidays and we spent another segment of time apart. Spring 2016 was a hopeful and exciting time for us. We anticipated spending the rest of the year together in the States. After receiving the bad news about our visa in May, we pushed forward surprisingly well and comforted each other from separate countries. Reunited for a short time again in July, we made the most of our time together and went on an adventure in Paris, France. It was a lovely time of getting to know more about each other and it distracted us from the reality of our situation. In our second year of marriage we have only spent a total of twenty-one weeks together.

Paris 2016

Reading through the anniversary cards at Hallmark was tough this year. I became more and more bitter and depressed with every card I scanned through. I am normally a huge fan of celebrating every occasion and little achievement that passes in life, but not this year. It breaks my heart to think of how other couples are able to hold hands, fight in person, fix dinner for each other, go on evening walks, and spend every day together and they take it all for granted. Those are the everyday activities that the cards mentioned_ none of those pertain to us, so I never settled on a card. 

I miss my husband every single day. I grieve over the thought of the life we could be having together. Spending our wedding anniversary apart with no reunion in close sight is very difficult, to say the least. I went for a ride on the back roads tonight and took in the gorgeous sunset. Sunsets have always been a special part of our relationship and even our wedding colors, purple and orange, incorporated that. As I watched the gorgeous array of clouds and the fiery sun, I really let in set in that I was a wife who was spending these months all by herself. I burst into tears at the thought of going through my wedding anniversary without Pieter. No romantic dinner, balloons, champagne, fancy getaway, or flowers. I would not wake up to a good morning kiss or be sent off to work with an "I love you" and a hug. I would trudge on through the daily grind of this life as if it were just another day. 

After two years of marriage everyone else moves into their next phase of life with having children, starting new jobs, getting pets, buying houses, or getting promoted. I am becoming discontent as I am forced to remain in this time of waiting. God grant me with the patience and understanding as I continue to wait for Your great timing. 

With that said, I must state that I realize that there are many people out there who have it so much worse than we do. I am so very grateful that I am able to communicate with my husband on a daily basis through emails or skype calls. I am relieved that he is in a safe place and living with his family who loves him. He has a job and is able to enjoy playing sports and interacting in his community. It is a blessing to be able to spend special time together when I am able to visit every few months. 

We are halfway done with waiting to get together again. The next 44 days will fly by! Our pattern of "apart" and "together" has become routine for the two of us, but we are so very anxious for it to end. News about where our future years together will take place will be declared in December or January. For now, we thank God for the time we have been able to share, the memories we have made, and the lessons we have been able to learn this year together and apart. Today is a celebration of us and the strong union we share as we travel through life together, as a team, no matter where life takes us. I am thankful for Pieter and the role he plays in my life, even when we are miles and miles apart!

How do we do it?

How does one maintain a relationship when they only see each other for short segments at a time throughout the year? I have had many people who have been curious about this subject. It doesn't seem possible to carry on a long distance relationship between states in the U.S. much less a relationship with an ocean and a $700 plane ticket in the way!

Pieter and I dated long distance for about 14 months total before we got married. This involved various letters and perfume-scented cards sent in the mail, emails sent about how our day was just about every night, scheduling times to skype, and even Pieter calling me at 4am Netherlands time to talk to me at 10pm U.S. time before I went to sleep! We would dream together and hope for the future together just about every time we talked. Imagining how wonderful it would be to finally enjoy each other's company in person was what kept the relationship going, that, and common goals and interests (like any other relationship). Through this long distance bond we created a unique relationship and a lasting friendship.

Although it may not be the ideal way of dating, we certainly made it work. The day we became husband and wife was the day we had waited for and dreamed of all those months as we dated. As I vowed to share life with this man I was sure that I would never have to go another day without him by my side. I was thrilled to finally be settled down and have us both in one place to begin our life together. No more skype dates, late night phone calls, or emotional emails would have to be sent! He would be right there for me in person whenever I needed him and we could finally be a normal couple. 

That lasted for a short four months.

A long distance marriage is certainly different from a long distance relationship. It is something we have both grown used to, but would still not wish it upon our worst enemy. This type of marriage takes extra patience, strength, dedication, and determination. We have had to put all those dreams and hopes we once had  up on a shelf for a day we can only pray will eventually come . Very few conversations are spent talking of future children, pets, jobs, houses, or trips, because we no longer know where our future will take place.

We try to stay strong for each other and build the other one up when he or she is discouraged, but even that has become a struggle. Yet, somehow we manage still to make one another laugh. Whether it's my crazy to-do lists that I ramble on about, or reminiscing about the past, or something that happened at work... our friendship has withstood many trials and triumphs, but it still remains.

Left to Right: Vlissingen 2016, Bus ride in Eindhoven 2015, Paris 2016, and date night 2013.

Truth is, I would not want to "do life" with anyone else. Would I prefer for my husband and I to be together in one country for longer than 3 months? Yes. But this is our life. I was called to go on this journey for a reason. I will continue to support and encourage my husband. I will fight for him and stand up for him for however long it takes for this situation to be resolved. I pray each day that that will be soon. 

Life Goes On

As the month of August comes to an end, I feel one of my favorite times of the year closely drawing near. The air is cooler, the leaves have begun to blow in the wind, and the smell of pumpkin and cinnamon candles fills my room. September will come and Pieter and I will spend our 2nd wedding anniversary apart. My husband's 29th birthday will be on September 21st and I will not get to celebrate it with him. The thought of missing out on those special times together makes my heart sad.

Days keep dragging by. The reality of my young, married life being put on hold becomes more and more discouraging each day. I went through the boxes of the contents of our apartment today and my heart hurt at the reminder of all the lost memories. Planning for the future has become impossible. There is a constant looming of "what if the waiver gets denied?" and "what if the waiver gets approved?" It has become a battle of the mind. Some days I am optimistic and trust that God is in control of our future, other days I become terrified at the thought of my life being turned completely upside down. I am tired of living this way and we are ready for an answer, either way. After we have an answer we can plan accordingly. Where we will live, where we will work, when I will return to school...

People ask how we are doing and if we have had any progress in getting Pieter back to America. There has been quite a delay on filing, but everything will be in order next week and once we file, processing takes 2-4 months. It will be entirely in God's hands then.

People say that God never gives a person more than he or she can handle. All I know is that, without Him, I couldn't handle this. I would have collapsed in a heap a long time ago. When the burden becomes too much to bear, I listen to one of my new favorite songs, "Cast my Cares" by Finding Favour. It is hard to believe that it has been almost two years since this ordeal began, but I keep pushing on each day, because that is all I can do.

My Time In Holland

I flew in last Thursday after a pleasant, but long, flight. Exhaustion and jetlag hit me like a load of bricks and I basically slept away my first week here!

Summer in the Netherlands is nothing like home. It seems to be consistently windy here and the average temperature is mid-sixties. Feels more like spring. I'll know better next time to pack more sweaters and less swimsuits!

I have a gorgeous view out my window and can see for miles as the land is so flat, but I do miss my mountains. The sun does not completely set here until after 11pm... this makes it difficult for me to go to sleep at a normal time and just throws me off in general. 

My Dutch life is back to it's usual daily grind. I seem to forget what my life is like here every time I leave and then return again. New house, same routine! 

I get more and more used to this countries habits every time I visit. I figure after a while I may actually start to fit in! I have memorized the aisles of the grocery store to make my grocery list in order. I can now comfortably order from a Dutch menu at a restaurant. And the small sizes of everything do not bother me quite as much! The Dutch minimalistic life is growing on me! I have yet to get used to the bikes though...

I am only here for two more weeks, so I have begun planning my next trip that I suspect will not be as short as this one. News on Pieter's hopeful return to the States will not occur for many many more months, but upon my return to America I will be finalizing paperwork for his waiver and we will spend many months asking for God's favor in that situation. Whether God wants my future to be in the Shenandoah Valley or in Zeeland, only He knows. I am working everyday to accept whichever way it may go. 

Voyage Number Nine

Next week I will make my ninth voyage across the ocean to be with my husband. I think of this short trip as a sort of "vacation" for the two of us after the traumatic mess we went through earlier this year. When I kissed my husband goodbye at the airport on May 1st we thought we would only be apart for a few weeks. That time turned into two very long, sad, and lonely months for both of us. Pieter has been working almost non-stop day in and day out trying to save money on his end and I have been working as many hours as I can to pay for our immigration-oriented bills (plane tickets, waiver fees, and lawyer fees). This has left very little time for fun as the summer is almost half over!

I will only be able to visit for a few weeks, but we have every intention of making every minute count as we will be apart for quite a few months after this trip. We hope to have this I-601 waiver completed by August and sent in by September. It has involved a lot more time and paperwork than either of us anticipated. For all that have contributed with letters or financial donations_ thank you!

Whenever someone asks about how the process is going and are wondering why in the world my husband has not returned yet, I mention this "waiver" business. To help clear up some of the mystery, here is what this waiver is all about:

In order to fully understand it, I must start from the beginning! When Pieter interviewed at the U.S. Consulate in Amsterdam and they gave him the approval, we all celebrated and sighed with relief because he would get to return to America and we could finally be together! We celebrated because the U.S. Consulate is supposed to have the last say in any visa case. We did not suspect that there could be a change in the results the next day. Well, there was.

When Pieter's approval got changed to "in administrative processing" that meant that U.S. border control was reviewing the case once more... they suspected something. 

When they scanned their database they found that my husband was recorded as having given a false statement in an airport interview by answering "no" to the question of "have you ever overstayed a visa?"   Pieter's work visa expired in September, the month we got married. He and I were both under the impression that once you married a U.S. citizen you were fine to remain in the United States. To our surprise, that rule had changed. Therefore, Pieter's reply of "no" to this question, was considered a lie.

We are now where we are simply because of misinformation and misunderstanding. It is rough knowing that something so seemingly minute could cause such a ruckus in the system and cause a newly married couple to spend months at a time apart from one another. If only we could have the chance to state our piece and make our intentions known, I truly believe this could all be cleared up with a conversation. But we are now thrown into a pile of other discouraged individuals, criminals, and likely terrorists who are trying to make their way into the country.

The waiver that we are working on filing is based solely on me and my life circumstances at the moment. I must prove to the USCIS that I am in extreme hardship without my husband here with me. Medical, spiritual, educational, financial, mental, and familial reasons can be given to plead my case. I must accurately back each reason up with documents regarding how these are extreme hardships. I feel tremendous pressure to complete this task and am deeply saddened that it has come to this.

As a wife who has been put in such a desperate position, I am determined to get my case heard, so I have made the decision to contact various government officials to inform them about my situation. If anyone reading this knows of a community, state, or other government leader that I should contact, please contact me by email or through facebook. We greatly appreciate all encouragement, prayers, and positivity as ours runs low on difficult days!

I appreciate prayers for safe travels, as well as peace in our hearts as we have to depart from one another once again in just a few weeks. Words cannot even begin to describe how much I am ready for all of this to be over. . .

Purpose in the Pain

Having no end in sight is draining. While it is exhausting to complain about my situation all the time, it is also exhausting to pretend that I am fine.

The real answer to the common question of "How are you?" will always be "not fine" . . . I am not fine. Would you be fine if the love of your life was torn away from you and you were forced to live out your marriage in two separate countries, not able to do even ordinary everyday things together? Or would you be fine if you were told that that special loved one would be allowed back with you and then had that joy ripped away from you? At times my heart physically begins aching to be with my husband, but there is no way for me to get to him. 

After receiving word that our marriage visa was most definitely denied, we were optimistic about the next step. The waiver process seemed like it would go smoothly and we were ready to get it done and wrap all of this up!

Reality is, the waiver is going to take a while to put together. Information is needed to prove my extreme need to have my husband here with me in the States and it is not definite that the waiver will be granted. 

Throughout this entire series of unfortunate events I have never really gotten angry. I have spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself, feeling lonely, feeling confused, and feeling extremely sad, but never angry. The more I consider our situation and the honest individuals we are, the more I know I should be angry about what has happened to us, but never do. 

The way I see it, God knew this was coming and He knows when, or if, it will end. I cannot seem to find meaning in all of the lonely nights, missed opportunities, and tears shed, but I do know that with God, there is always a purpose with the pain. He will see us through. . .

With A Little Help From My Friends

The week of horrible news has finally ended and Pieter and I are moving forward with determination! Continuing to maintain a marriage while communicating through limited time over skyping conversations and working around a six hour time difference is stressful. Long distance has become our usual by now, but I would give just about anything to have even a day to be with my husband in person.

I continue to work at Cracker Barrel as a waitress and Pieter is working in the Netherlands with a temp agency at a fertilizer packaging company. We both enjoy our jobs and are thankful to have a steady income, as well as, understanding employers who know a little about our situation and allow me to leave for short period's of time to visit Pieter in the Netherlands.

This past week we have been working with our immigration lawyer to come up with a plan of action in getting Pieter's waiver packet completed and turned in. We hoped to have this accomplished by the beginning of June. The next countdown of 3-5 months for processing will begin once the fees are paid and the packet is mailed. 

With this waiver comes a fee that we were anticipating and that we, with our small salaries, could handle. It also came with another unexpected fee for processing. This payment must be made before any more progress on the waiver can take place. The result of waiting to save up enough money means Pieter's return will continue to be pushed further and further away.

Both Pieter and I feel immensely blessed from the amount of prayers and steady followers that did not drop us at the first sign of delay in the beginning! We can truly say to those who have been able to keep up- wow ... and thank you! And to those who have shown concern and given much needed hugs- thank you!

We ask each of you now, humbly, and with grateful hearts, that you would be in prayer and consideration of helping me and Pieter with the processing fees in order to quickly file the waiver and bring Pieter back to America.
Please view and share our fundraising page here:
https://www.youcaring.com/pieter-and-lydia-tramper-577254

The Roller Coaster of Recent Events

On May 3rd we all celebrated together in approaching the finish line as Pieter's visa was approved! Invitations were sent out for the welcome back party, the caterer and venue were booked, and the balloons and streamers were purchased in preparation for his arrival. On May 12th we learned that the visa would need more processing before being issued and on May 17th Pieter's visa was denied. We spent that day completely falling apart as our future and our plans had been shattered. Our hope was renewed just the next day when Pieter received a friendly phone call saying he could meet at the consulate once more on Friday, May 20th. This gave us more time of waiting for answers and built up hope. Pieter's visa was officially refused that day and we began facing the facts, picking up the pieces, and making a plan for the next segment of paperwork and waiting.

As many of you can imagine after following us in this journey, this new set of news comes as a shock to us and we can officially say we are worn out.

Having been on twelve flights in a time-frame of eighteen months is not adventurous, spontaneous, or exciting to me_ I see it as nearly $6,000 spent that could have been used to save for a house or a future family.

Due to this new setback, our future has been put on hold once again. Starting a family, beginning careers, and me returning to school is something that will have to be put off for yet another year.
In all of this, the hardest part is having this amazing man who I fell in love with and vowed to share life with who is an ocean away from me. I keep wanting to turn around and see him right there. But he's not, he hasn't been for quite awhile. Being apart has not gotten any easier with time. I hate coming home from work after a long day and not having him here to talk to about everything that happened or even to just sit quietly with.

I already had a return flight booked because for some reason, round-trip tickets are more affordable than one way tickets. I will be flying back to the Netherlands in July to spend a short time with my husband before returning to America in August. Our next phase is to file a waiver, with the help of our lawyer, to clear up any confusion with border control. This can take anywhere from 3-5 months. Our prayer is that it goes smoothly with no other hiccups in the process!

I am no good at answering questions about immigration. I do not know how any of this works. All I know is that America has rules for individuals who come into our country. Border control tries hard to guard those borders in order to keep us safe. Rules are meant to be followed and we are following the proper procedure that they require. There is no magic way or special person to get him back into America. Trust me, if there was, I would have found it by now!

With this reality we now know that 2016 is another year of hoping, waiting, and wondering when and if this will ever be over. After having a week of looking forward to Pieter's return and making plans to go car shopping, house shopping, and imagining things we would do together this summer, some days it seems almost impossible to move forward in yet another segment of being a long distance wife.

Too Good To Be True

My initial reaction was shock and disbelief. Then I found myself determined to stay strong, look for answers, and act as if I could conquer anything that came my way! Now, for the past hour, I have found myself wrapped under heaps of blankets, crying my eyes out into my pillow as I have done so many times before.

I tried taking a hot shower, saying a humble prayer, walking outside for fresh air, reading God's Word, and listening to inspiring music, but sometimes there just isn't anything that takes away that body aching feeling that comes with bad news and disappointment.

It was too good to be true. My heart and mind were never both convinced that my husband would walk onto American soil on Tuesday. Back before all this happened I found myself to be a real dreamer, a hopeless romantic. I was a fairly positive person in times of trouble. This situation has taught me to keep a level head and to be realistic, as well as skeptical.

Disappointment after disappointment, Pieter and I always bounce back, right? This just seems to be the last straw. As many of you can understand after following our journey thus far, through ups and downs, joy and frustration_ here's the new news:

The Consular's office gave my husband a call this morning letting him know that his visa approval would need extra administrative processing. This basically means there is a glitch in the approval that was given, likely due to the overstay that occurred in 2014. The United States sees this as a potential risk factor and needs to further review the paperwork in order to be sure everything is cleared for Pieter's return. While the lady on the phone was quite optimistic about the task at hand, I have my doubts. The internet claims this can take up to 60 days to review, but the kind lady on the phone reported that it may be settled by next Tuesday.

At this point, the day or time does not even matter. This just means more waiting, shattered plans, and failed hope.

As we try to stand strong, we ask again for your prayers. Prayers for our hurting hearts that long to be together, prayers for strength once more to get through this obstacle, and prayers for the resolution of this setback to come quickly!

The Long-awaited News!

In the time we have had our future on hold I have gone through three laptops, three winter coats, gained more than 30 pounds, worried more than I thought was possible, had moments when I just thought I couldn't do it any longer, lived in four different houses, visited over ten different countries, and flown across the Atlantic a total of eight times. I can now say with relief and joy in my heart... my husband's visa has been approved and he will be returning to the U.S. in just a couple weeks!

In December of 2014 I had only been married for a few months, I had never been out of the country, and I did not realize just how much I had to learn about life.

Now, almost seventeen months later, here I am, feeling like a completely different person. As the days go by, people change, we learn more about ourselves, and we learn more about life.

In the fall of 2014 I became Pieter Tramper's wife and we began our life together. As newlyweds, we anxiously anticipated our trip to Arnemuiden, Netherlands to visit his family for just three weeks. We made plans for me to visit family members, participate in traditions, and for us to have a Dutch wedding. Learning about their food, language, and lifestyle was all so interesting and overwhelming in those three weeks.

January 8th, 2015 is when Pieter and I said a sad good-bye to his relatives and boarded the plane back to the U.S. We were thrilled to see what 2015 had in store for us! I was going to go back to school to get my medical assistant certification and Pieter was going to work at Brethren Woods again. 

After a whole day of traveling and a night spent at a Swedish airport getting no sleep, we made it to America, tired, sick, and smelly. Together we went through the motions of security checks and baggage claims, but at customs my husband was pulled to the side and was denied access into the United States due to an invalid visa.

Fast forward through the most traumatizing night of my life, I found myself back in the airport the next day, praying harder than I ever had in my life. God answered prayer and reunited us once again. Back in Europe, we realized just how dreadful our situation was.
I was in Holland until the end of February and then made the decision to be apart from my husband for five months. We were devastated by the harsh reality, being that this was our first year as husband and wife. 

Upon returning to the Netherlands in August, the weather was warm and beautiful. We began making plans to have a life there. We bought a car, rented a home, went on trips, bought groceries together every Saturday morning, and started making memories. This took away from the frustration of paperwork and the realization that my husband was not allowed in my country.

   

I flew back to America to be with my family over the holidays that winter. I planned to only be there for only a few weeks, but due to the Netherlands tourist visa rules, I was not allowed back for another two months. I flew back at the end of February in 2016 and now, here we are!

Back and forth I have gone, up and down in the sky, over the ocean, and back onto land. I am grateful to have had that extended time to get to know my Dutch relatives. There is now a special place in my heart for that beautiful country and the wonderful people I met there.

As many of you have taken this journey with us and read through the frustration, sadness, and joy, I thank you! Knowing that we can begin building our life and living out our dreams soon is extraordinary! The moments I have longed for and imagined in my head throughout this time will all be coming true. Thanks to your prayers, God has heard our hearts, taught us patience, and seen us through this long, difficult time.

Stay tuned to see what's next for us in this big adventure called life!

 

Blessing in Disguise

We are coming to the end of this long journey and we can feel that our simple world is about to change in a big way!

While I will not have complete peace and relief until my husband's feet are actually back on American soil, the date we had been waiting to receive, we now have!

After arriving back in the Netherlands for the fourth time in sixteen months, I scrambled to find a new home for us to live in for the rest of our stay here. We moved from one vacation home to another_ from Aagtekerke to Oostkapelle. We are grateful for the generous people who have given Pieter and I a place to call our "temporary home". We have learned to adapt to any space we are given and make it home, but we look forward to the day we can have a house of our own.

Pieter and I have been holding back our plans and ambitions as we have made the best of our stay here in Holland. Knowing we can finally begin our life together in just a few weeks now is thrilling and overwhelming at the same time! We have had the opportunity to get to know each other so much more and our dreams have only gotten bigger throughout this time!

Just the day before we received the news about the interview, I had already booked my flight back to the U.S. Many lists of pros and cons were made and I decided to make my way back to the States at the beginning of May in order to return to work and collect some savings for a foundation for our new life. We expect Pieter to fly back right behind me around the end of May or beginning of June at the latest.

We know that this all happened for a reason. We have been able to spend time with Pieter's family and make memories together in Pieter's home country. This ride has not been without it's stresses, but looking back on the months behind us, Pieter and I agree that this time has been a true blessing in disguise.

Madame Tussaud's wax museum in Amsterdam

Sean Connery and Pieter 

Lydia and E.T. 

The hustle and bustle of Amsterdam

Anatomy museum_ so amazing!

Fun time with family

 

I have been back in the Netherlands for a week now and continue to try and mold back into my "other life". To everyone back at home, you're missed! The life I have here is the complete opposite of how I live in America and it makes me feel like a different person.

My flight to Belgium started off with a three hour delay. Everyone had already boarded the plane, so cranky adults and screaming children were trapped in this large metal tube for a few extra hours together! Lucky for me, the two seats next to me were empty, so I stretched out and took a nap for basically the entire flight.

Upon arriving in Brussels, I had devised a plan for what I would do if they denied my returning to Europe due to my slight overstay last year. I wanted to be prepared for any possible situation. I ended up talking with a very kind gentleman at border control who let me right in as if he and I had been lifelong friends. He was so welcoming after I had imagined the worst scenario and had built up all my defenses to get them to let me in. Thank you Belgium for being so nice!

The walk to baggage claim seemed to never end. It had to be on the opposite side of the airport! I was so drowsy from my airplane nap and my mind was convinced that it was only four in the morning, American time. My suitcase was one of the first on the carousel and then I was on my way for Pieter to welcome me for what seemed like the twentieth time we had done this. A rainy drive "home" welcomed me back into Holland and from the looks of the flat fields, windmills, and small cars, nothing had changed here!

News on Pieter's visa continues to remain stagnant. The day we countdown to now is March 23rd, which is forty-five days after the papers were received the second time. That is the latest possible day we can hear about when Pieter's interview will be scheduled. That day CANNOT come fast enough. We are so close to the finish line, I can taste it. I can see the welcome back balloons and the plane tickets in our hands, but still... we wait. 

Fourteen months of living this way really can get to you. Near the end of this month we will be looking for another place to live and options are few as spring and summer are popular times for tourists to take up every possible nook and cranny to enjoy the Netherlands beauty. I struggle with the unsettling feeling of not knowing what is next and having to just take it take by day... not my thing.

Beautiful rainy day!

The lunch I pack for Pieter everyday. It's part of my routine!

I brought a little piece of home (and Cracker Barrel) with me. You can't find Yankee Candles here! 

Raisin bread for breakfast, thank you Oma! 

Lydia's attempt at making dinner, so colorful!

Movie night in the new theater in Vlissingen

Nachos with really strong Dutch cheese

Way too fancy desserts, but still tasty.