Pieter and I dated long distance for about 14 months total before we got married. This involved various letters and perfume-scented cards sent in the mail, emails sent about how our day was just about every night, scheduling times to skype, and even Pieter calling me at 4am Netherlands time to talk to me at 10pm U.S. time before I went to sleep! We would dream together and hope for the future together just about every time we talked. Imagining how wonderful it would be to finally enjoy each other's company in person was what kept the relationship going, that, and common goals and interests (like any other relationship). Through this long distance bond we created a unique relationship and a lasting friendship.
Although it may not be the ideal way of dating, we certainly made it work. The day we became husband and wife was the day we had waited for and dreamed of all those months as we dated. As I vowed to share life with this man I was sure that I would never have to go another day without him by my side. I was thrilled to finally be settled down and have us both in one place to begin our life together. No more skype dates, late night phone calls, or emotional emails would have to be sent! He would be right there for me in person whenever I needed him and we could finally be a normal couple.
That lasted for a short four months.
A long distance marriage is certainly different from a long distance relationship. It is something we have both grown used to, but would still not wish it upon our worst enemy. This type of marriage takes extra patience, strength, dedication, and determination. We have had to put all those dreams and hopes we once had up on a shelf for a day we can only pray will eventually come . Very few conversations are spent talking of future children, pets, jobs, houses, or trips, because we no longer know where our future will take place.
We try to stay strong for each other and build the other one up when he or she is discouraged, but even that has become a struggle. Yet, somehow we manage still to make one another laugh. Whether it's my crazy to-do lists that I ramble on about, or reminiscing about the past, or something that happened at work... our friendship has withstood many trials and triumphs, but it still remains.
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| Left to Right: Vlissingen 2016, Bus ride in Eindhoven 2015, Paris 2016, and date night 2013. |
Truth is, I would not want to "do life" with anyone else. Would I prefer for my husband and I to be together in one country for longer than 3 months? Yes. But this is our life. I was called to go on this journey for a reason. I will continue to support and encourage my husband. I will fight for him and stand up for him for however long it takes for this situation to be resolved. I pray each day that that will be soon.
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