Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Pieter and I hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday season spent with family and friends!
As we look forward to the new year we have several important dates set up for Pieter to complete the process of gaining our marriage visa now that the waiver has been approved.

Prayers for a busy month of January are appreciated. Pieter will have a doctor's appointment that is required when applying for a visa and then a visa interview at the Amsterdam consulate in late January. I will keep you posted on the progress of those steps.

We have decided for the new year to be a "transition year" as we figure out where to go next! Pieter hopes to travel over to America for a short visit, pending the approval of his visa interview. 

For now, here is a Christmas greeting from our family to yours! Love to you all during this Christmas season and Happy New Year!
http://www.smilebox.com/playBlog/

Drum Roll Please!

I had imagined the moment over and over again in my head on how we would react to whatever news we received. The “Call me ASAP” text I received from my husband seemed very out of character for him. He's a fairly chill guy. I thought to myself as I had numerous times before, “Could this be about the immigration case?”

I called him and when he told me, I simply did not believe it. I was shocked. It felt so surreal. I kept asking him “So, it's over, it's really over?” and burst into tears.

This will be a Thanksgiving and a Christmas where gratefulness truly abounds. My heart is full as I declare, finally, but in God's perfect timing, that our waiver has been approved!!

It still does not feel like it is real.
We had prepared ourselves for the very worst and were ready to accept it.

So, after years of waiting, praying, and so many ups and downs, what's next?

This exciting new reality also comes along with many important decisions and challenges that we will have to face in the coming months. The waiver is not an instant ticket to the U.S. And other red tape must be sorted through before travel plans can be confirmed.

We also must accept that things will not return to the way they were back in 2014. Pieter and I have grown and changed by leaps and bounds since then and we will have to settle into a new pace of living once we decide where that will be!

We are trying to avoid making hasty decisions regarding the future and will be taking time to sort through the changes and pray about the next steps to take. We are still figuring out the logistics of the year ahead and are both thrilled to move forward and reach goals together in 2018!

It has been your prayers, support, and keeping of the faith that have kept us going. For that, we will always be thankful!

Love to you all this Christmas season,
Pieter and Lydia Tramper

Season of Gratitude and Joy

The laundry has filtered in and out of the washing machine and dryer, the suitcases have migrated to the hallway to make their way up to the attic, and I have settled right back into work as if I never left.

My journey home was long and tiring, as one would expect it to be. I was shuffled from airport to airplane like a piece of worn out luggage. The airline did not accept cash for their food service, so I rationed my mixed nuts and candy bar throughout the six hour flight. 

At 34,000 feet, I sat there in seat 13D thinking about how I had no where to go and no one to talk to. I looked around at the couples and the families that were enjoying traveling together and remembered how just a week earlier, Pieter and I had enjoyed a flight together to Slovenia. Bitterness and confusion built up in my mind as I asked myself “Why me?” for what seemed like the 1000^th time this year... and tears began to roll down my already makeup smeared face. At this point, several hours into my journey, I just didn't care about what anyone thought of me anymore. I scrambled to find a way through this emotional pain and ended up finding comfort in a playlist I named “You Can Do This” -reassuring myself of just that every time I selected a song to add to it. When I finally arrived at Dulles airport I was exhausted, hungry, and relieved.

November has blown in with cold temperatures and a thick reminder that the holidays are right around the corner! I am convinced that we will all be sick of Christmas decorations once December 25^th finally comes along. It seems as if retail and restaurant chains are really rushing it along this year, or maybe it has always been that way and I am just now noticing.

I, too, am guilty of rushing time. I find myself wishing I had soaked up every minute that I had with Pieter during my time there, so I could hold on to every memory he and I made just a little bit longer. As the season of thankfulness and joy comes around I do want to express how overwhelmingly blessed I feel to have two homes where I know that I am surrounded by people that love me.

I want to encourage you today with the reminder that God knows exactly where you are at this very moment. You can be anywhere in the world, and He still sees you and knows you. How humbling is it to know that in this vast and intricate universe YOU are on His mind and YOU mean the most to Him? I pray that with this knowledge you will have peace and hope as you press on in life's inevitable obstacles.

*Stay tuned for an immigration update and a special Christmas greeting in my next blog posts.*

How Did We Get Here?

One year of waiting, growing, worrying, and learning has passed!

For those of you who have recently joined in on reading my blog, I am sure by now you have realized that I am not just vacationing in the Netherlands and enjoying a luxurious life of excessive sightseeing! Shall I give you a recap of how I got here? Here it is in a nutshell, minus the emotional details:

In September 2014 I married Pieter, we flew to the Netherlands for me to meet his family for the very first time in December of that same year. In January 2015, upon our return, he was denied access into the U.S. due to incorrect paperwork. We flew back to Europe together. At the end of February, he stayed there, and I went back home.

We were led to believe that Pieter's visa was approved in May 2016, after months and months of paperwork, money spent, and meetings. Complications arose, the visa was denied, and all celebratory plans were canceled. That summer we worked to put together a waiver. (more paperwork, money spent, and meetings). I have spent the last three years in a pattern of flying back and forth, living two completely opposite lives on either side of "the pond".

It's hard to believe that this journey continues!

The worst part of that whole story was not the waiting or the unknown, although that got pretty unbearable at times, it was not being able to be together during our first years of marriage. 

Dutch Wedding Day 01/02/2015

My husband posted this on facebook earlier today as an update regarding his immigration paperwork status.

"On October 11th 2016 we filed our waiver. It had taken us quite some time to assemble all the required information.

Initially, we were made to believe it was going to take 6 months for immigration to process our application. As the day drew closer we had to find out they had moved the day ahead by another month.

After that month the same thing happened, and kept happening. Every time we are close the date gets pushed ahead even further. We never received any official communication from immigration services whatsoever. All our attempts to submit an inquiry have failed because 'the case is not taking longer than it should'

For now, we have stopped waiting around and moved ahead with our lives. We live in our own apartment and last month I signed a contract that will keep me in my current job until December 2018. Moving to America has gone from dream to nightmare. At this point we are not sure what the future holds for us, but it appears living in America has been put on hold for the foreseeable future.

We do want to thank y'all (see, I could be American) for your continued support. It has meant the world to us!"

Recently, it has been nice to push all of the "waiver" and "immigration status" talk to the side and focus on us, the present, and our future. All too often in life we tend to focus on what is wrong and all of the negative, through doing that, we lose sight of all we DO have and miss out on so much awesome-ness that we could be experiencing!

Tonight, while washing dishes, listening to a mix of Christian music, country music, and 80's hits, this Big Daddy Weave song "Jesus I Believe" came on. Oh how the lyrics spoke to me! I urge you to listen to it today and claim the words as your own. "I'm standing on your promises, I know your Word is true!"

In Need of a Pause Button

I have been told that once time starts to feel like it is flying by, it does not stop and once you have children time only goes by that much quicker. There have been many moments in the past month that I have wanted to freeze time and hold onto it for just a little longer. Any of you who have ever loved, can relate to this desperate feeling.

It is those special moments that make life worth living, that make the bad moods, burnt dinners, and rainy Mondays more bearable.

October is underway, 2018 will be here before we know it! My time in Holland has been busy, fulfilling, and productive. I have a new, welcomed routine in my new, personal space here_ our apartment. My days are spent cleaning (of course, it's unavoidable!) and working from home with my online, U.S., job as a Plexus Ambassador. I enjoy researching and promoting their health and wellness products as I have always been fascinated by the human body and it's functions. I look forward to continuing my personal journey to better health while educating others on the importance of their own gut health.

September 13th, Pieter and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary with a simple dinner date at a restaurant on the water. Very quaint. I had ribs and he ordered a meat trio (these dishes describe our personalities well). It is hard to believe we have only been married three years, as it seems I have known Pieter my whole life. 

We celebrated Pieter's 30^th birthday by inviting family over to our apartment for a semi-traditional Dutch birthday party with lots of food. A traditional Dutch birthday party begins with cake, chocolate, and coffee, proceeds to a round of meat and cheese with beer, wine, juice, or soda, and ends with a salty snack mix or chips with more beer or another drink of choice. 

                                                                                                     

Along with becoming more accustom to the Dutch way of life, I also continue to embrace the Dutch language and look forward to the day I can declare myself bi-lingual. Through my Dutch lessons that I attend twice a week at the local library, I have discovered that I already possess a general understanding of the language and am familiar with a wide array of Dutch vocabulary. It is the confidence to speak it that I must work on. I look forward to my lessons each week as I share the learning experience with a culturally diverse group of people. My classmates are from the Czech Republic, Somalia, Poland, and Japan. I am the only American in the class, but everyone speaks a bit of English.

Leaves changing color even here in the Netherlands!

The train station in Arnemuiden 

I never would have imagined that these streets would become so familiar to me. 

The Tramper residence 

One of my favorite places to walk.

Pieter took a day off of work last week for the two of us to visit one of my favorite towns here, Veere. We got some lovely pictures as it was a beautiful, sunny day.

In the past few weeks I have taken some time to reflect on how drastically I have changed since my first, original visit to Arnemuiden back in 2014. It amazes me to think of the young, shy, and inexperienced person I used to be. I am sure many of you can say the same about yourselves! I have grown in ways and learned life lessons that I never would have if this situation had never occurred. I could construct an entire novel based solely on the adventures, turmoil, and elation I have faced throughout this particular segment on this journey called life. 

So, what is up ahead in the near future? Well, more of the same. I will be embracing each new day and every moment I get to spend here in this new place I call my home with my wonderful husband. We have an exciting, adventurous trip coming up at the end of October that I am looking forward to! I will be back home to the States in early November.

When will the back and forth lifestyle end? For those of you still wondering about the status of our waiver with immigration, it will officially be a year since we submitted it, next week. No news so far. We suspect that one day we will hear from immigration, but until then, we choose not to worry and advise all of you to do the same. All in God's perfect timing.

Until next time, warm wishes on this windy day in Holland!  

Oh The Places You Can Go!

We have come a long way and it is finally setting in that we have a place of our own now here in Arnemuiden! The feeling is surreal after all we have been through.

Pieter's family has been more than understanding as we have come and gone from their home so many times. I remember back in 2015 we were living out of just one bedroom. We were ecstatic when our search for a place just for the two of us ended and we found a small (very small) room for two on a housing website. That accommodation lasted for about three days and we were back at the Tramper's! God has always provided us with a roof over our head and people to take care of us nearby.

Our next home was in Aagtekerke, nearly twenty minutes outside of Arnemuiden and nothing very useful nearby. We made some great memories in that tiny little trailer that was placed in the backyard of some much larger homes. It was there that we tried an "only fruits and vegetables" diet (short-lived), it was there where I finished up my online degree in Psychology, and where I watched scary movies by myself while I waited for Pieter to get back from work. The owners of that rental home were a true blessing to let us stay there for many many months as the unknown of Pieter's visa continued to weigh us down daily.

After a long fall and winter in Aagtekerke, we knew we had to be moving on. One should not overstay their welcome! So, after scrolling through dozens of housing websites and contacting many reluctant home owners, we came across a quaint beach home in Oostkapelle. This house brought us new hope as we lived there at the time where Pieter's visa was approved and everything was looking very bright for our future! I can close my eyes and remember a day spent in Oostkapelle just like it was yesterday. I had the TLC tv guide memorized and the television stayed on almost all day, keeping me company in the quiet of this spacious home.

Our time in the Oostkappelle beach house, with so much possibility in the air, was brief. After I spent a summer back in the U.S. our search for a new residence had to begin again. By this time, the monotony of packing and unpacking had worn us down. There was no excitement and newness to a new home, and we began to feel tired of having nothing to really call "our own"...

Upon  my next arrival in the chilly air of a late Dutch fall, we had found a vacation rental on the other side of Oostkapelle that was a renovated barn. How neat! We resided here and celebrated our first Thanksgiving together as a married couple. I joined in on the festivities of Saint Nicolas Day and we took our first Christmas card photo together right outside that home in the freezing cold. At this time, we had learned to make the most of every moment and to be thankful for the provisions God had allowed us during our journey from house to house.

Just this past spring, trip number seven for me, we were fortunate enough to be able to occupy Pieter's grandmother's home. With so much space and so many memories from years gone by seeping from the walls and the framework, we were truly grateful for the opportunity to reside in this home. We enjoyed picnics on the roof, watching gorgeous sunsets over the railroad tracks, evening strolls down the abandoned lane nearby, and having a garden to plant and maintain. Beautiful spring and summer days were spent there in the very last days the home would remain in the Tramper family. It was an honor to call it home for the short time that I did.

Now, another Tramper home is in the making. A small (not as small as our first place) apartment near the center of town. With a touch of Pieter's sharp style and a sprinkle of Lydia's colorful charm we are busy making this ordinary space into a haven of safety, love, and hope for ourselves. It was a long journey to get here and we anticipate adding much more to this journey as the years go by.

Making the Transition

It is that time of the year again! I am back in Holland and getting settled in once more. I woke up to gray skies and a rainy day- very discouraging, considering how negative that works towards fighting jetlag. Now, the gorgeous sunshine and blue skies have come out to greet me in Arnemuiden as I sit on the couch, windows open, drinking in the cool evening air.

Our apartment building

My flight and time at the airport all went very well, but having an overnight flight left me more groggy than usual the next day. The jetlag gets me every time!

I was anxious to tour our new Dutch apartment upon my arrival. It is quite a lovely space that my husband and his family worked hard to make look so nice. Now I just have to find a place for everything we have accumulated over the past two years!

I will keep myself quite busy as I get used to “keeping house” again. Oh how I have missed dishes, laundry, sweeping, cleaning, and planning/making dinner! I guess it is good to be back to our little life again, but it will take some getting used to.

A new addition to our lifestyle this time around is the fact that I will be working from home- putting in a few hours every day as a Plexus ambassador, working to improve upon my online business. I will also be taking Dutch lessons twice a week at the local library!

I have been struggling with comprehending, reading, and speaking the Dutch language since the first day I arrived in the Netherlands back in December 2014 for our short, three week, stay. While I have come quite a long way in understanding conversation around me and knowing certain phrases and words, becoming more confident in speaking Dutch, and being more independent here, has been a goal of mine for a while. I have high expectations for the class and for myself, but I am not sure if I am up for the challenge, so I do ask for your prayers as I try this new approach!

Learning Dutch 

During my time away from the U.S. I will try to post every few weeks to keep everyone informed and to remain connected to my friends and family back home. I miss you all and thank you for your continued prayers as I try to balance this “back and forth” life.  

Summer Highlights

After taking a few months off from blogging to soak up every second of summertime that I could, I am back! My arrival back to the United States started off with my little brother's graduation from high school. I am relieved that I am able to plan my trips around being here for monumental and memorable moments like those. I am so proud of my brother and how much he has grown in the past two years. He has become a great friend, advice-giver, and listener for me over the past few months.

My summer involved a whole lot of working. I worked day in and day out as a waitress, but took in every moment knowing it would not last long. I continue to be overwhelmed by how much I enjoy my job and the people I work with. It will be a sad "see you later" once again when I have to leave later this week.

While most of my days were spent working, of course I made time for fun as well! My family was able to vacation for a week at the beach and although it stormed most of the days, just having the family together was enough.

Other highlights include- days spent with friends, my 24th birthday, plenty of cuddles with Hampton (our cat), jump-starting my Plexus journey, getting my hair cut off, and just recently starting a gluten-free diet! These days it can be difficult to picture a clear future, but I remind myself to focus on the little blessings each day brings.

This week, my summer ends. I fly back to my second home to make some more memories, have some new adventures, and spend some much needed quality time with my husband. Our days are no longer spent counting down for our immigration paperwork to be filed and approved. That became less of a focus when we realized how much it was consuming our lives and keeping us from living in the present.

Upon my arrival to Arnemuiden, I anticipate seeing our new apartment as Pieter and his family have been working so hard to get it sanded, painted, decorated, and furnished. It is nice to know we will finally have a place to call "ours" when I am there. We have been in several different vacation rental homes during past trips and this will be a great, positive change for us!

As I fly out this week, I ask for continued prayer for safety, clarity of mind, and peace. I have flown more than sixteen times in the past two years, but I still get anxious about airport security, border control, and fellow passengers that will be accompanying me on my flight.
I will do my best to keep my "blog followers" up to date once a month on any news, trips, adventures, or progress that is made during my September to November trip!

Not Just the Onions

After two and a half months away, it is good to be home!

Upon my arrival back home I began a regimen to better health and to healing some of the damage that has been caused in my body over time. I have good days and bad days, but work keeps me busy, distracted, and fulfilled. I genuinely enjoy taking care of the guests that come into Cracker Barrel. Caring for people's needs is something I always aspired to do and although being a waitress is not the profession I intended, I am grateful I have the ability and opportunity to do so at this time in my life. And for the relationships, personal growth, and leadership skills I have acquired while working as a server, I know they will carry on to wherever and whatever may be up next for me in the years to come.

With all of the energy I expend taking care of other people's needs day after day after day, taking care of my own emotions and frustrations often gets pushed to the back burner. Whenever I do find time to focus on what is currently happening in my life, I start to feel sick. It all gets to be too much.

A few weeks back I was chopping onions at work. My sinuses filled with the strong odor of the crisp veggies, with every slice the smell grew more and more pungent and tears began rolling from my eyes. It is then that I realized I had not cried in a really long time. This was my opportunity to let out all of the bottled up emotions I had regarding how unfair, exhausting, and lonely this process has been for me and my husband. I carry those feelings in my heart and suppress them everyday, hoping they fade as days go by and praying for this burden to soon be lifted from my shoulders.

I found myself researching certain regulations and requirements for European tourism and a certain rule struck my attention. The reality of this rule was quite alarming when I looked at how it could affect me in my future trips to and from the Netherlands. This raises yet another obstacle in the saga of Pieter and Lydia. I ask each of those reading this to say a prayer for God to be ever-present in this situation and that this would finally come to a peaceful end. There is power in prayer and we are thankful that we serve a God who listens to and cares for His children.

Sometimes I do begin to wonder if the resilience of the human mind, heart, and body expires at some point. Is there a point where a person is no longer able to bounce back after life keeps letting them down? If there is, I must be reaching that point. I feel as though I am all out of ideas on how to remain optimistic. No one should ever have to fight this hard to be with the ones they love and desire to share life with. I miss the companionship, support, friendship, and laughter that I share with my husband. I miss him every single day and nothing can fully take that empty feeling away.

Yes, some days are easier than others. But some days, the Devil gets the best of me. Other days, God puts things into perspective and helps me realize that 1.) Some people have it so much worse than I do. 2.) He knows what He's doing. and 3.) I could never do this without Him.

Times Are Changing

The past two months I have spent in Arnemuiden have been different from my other trips here. This segment of time felt more like I had a life here and less like it was just time away from home to spend with my husband. Like always, Pieter and I got into a nice routine of a married couple who went grocery shopping, visited family, went on date nights, and ate dinner together every night. We enjoyed our time together and tried to make the most of it, knowing it would come to an end all too soon.

                         

Just when I am finally feeling settled and happy in one place I have to uproot myself again. I am frustrated that I keep having to toss myself back and forth between lifestyles, time zones, and relationships. It is not healthy and after two and a half years I am starting to see physical and mental repercussions from the ongoing stress I have been under.

I was seriously considering returning to the States a few weeks early due to multiple medical conditions I have been struggling with. Many of my symptoms are difficult to conquer alone and under my current circumstances. I am beginning to forget what it feels like to not be tired, stressed out, and anxious all of the time. I have this situation to blame for this early decline in my health and that makes me very angry. 

For anyone who is still trying to keep track of where our immigration journey is taking us, you must realize that both April and May have passed us by and we still have not announced a final answer regarding our waiver. This is because a four month delay was placed on our waiver and we will not hear anything now until August or September. That is almost a year after we filed and almost two years after my husband's visa was refused. We are now looking into other options for our future together. Life is too short to keep putting it on hold waiting for this process to be over. 

Holland, and the people I have come to know here, steal a little more of my heart every time I am able to visit. During this trip I have actually been able to open my mind to the possibility of maybe someday making this my home. While that statement scares me more than I could ever express, it is a thought that I am relieved and proud to finally be able to approach. I am a long way off from full acceptance of this idea, but oddly enough, I think God may be waiting for me to come to a place where I feel comfortable living in either country. Everyday I ponder what His reasoning is behind making us go through all of this. 

Tonight, during my evening stroll, I took part in one of my favorite pastimes- watching the sunset. As the sun painted gorgeous hues of pink, yellow, orange and purple on the evening sky I recalled how simple life used to be. Whenever I was stressed out as a young girl I would write down all my worries in my diary. I had this method of writing what I was struggling with in one column and then a solution (or reassurance statement) in the column next to it. Some of these issues were "I have a huge zit on my chin and look so ugly" "I am so nervous about my presentation in English class next week" "My sister is so much cooler than I am" or "I'll never have a boyfriend, no guys like me". I considered trying this same method with my life issues now. I sit here laughing just thinking about how trivial these problems are to me now! But they were a huge deal to me back then. They were concerns close to my heart that I thought impacted my life in a great way. I would pray about them and work through them, step by step. If God can get me through acne, boy troubles, high school, and self esteem problems, He can help me tackle the issues I am facing in life right now. After all, what is there that my God cannot do? (Luke 18:27) 

It Is Well

Fifteen days in Zeeland and my Yankee candles are already halfway burnt out. That could have something to do with us living by horse stables though. The smell can get pretty fierce. 

My pre-occupation with getting settled back into my Netherlands home has distracted me from dwelling too much on our current misfortune. We are living in house number seven.  I have had to pack up and set up home more times than most people do their entire lives. I guess I should consider myself experienced in many areas at this point. Flying across the Atlantic ocean, conquering jetlag symptoms, maintaining an on-again-off-again job_ these are my life achievements thus far! Our current most rewarding achievement as a couple is the fact that we now have a full-size couch in our living room, not just a loveseat. 

 

The month of March has come and gone and it seems as if April will do just exactly the same. It is, afterall, already half over. Last year at this time my husband and I were sharing in so much hope, joy, and anticipation as his visa was about to be approved. I still have the perfume I was using last spring and on the rare occasion that I do wear it, the sweet scent reminds me of those exciting days. Now, a year later, I cannot help but shake my head, close my eyes, and take a deep breath at the thought of where time has brought us. 

The highlights shown above are the flowers I planted over the weekend, Pieter's new car, date night to see Beauty and the Beast, and my very first canvas painting! It's never a dull moment when the two of us are together. There have been many lazy dinners on the couch, failed experimental dinner recipes, spontaneous outings to McDonald's, and evening strolls. . . and it is just the beginning of us making memories together in 2017. 

As many of you know, March was the month we were looking forward to. Five months was the initial amount of time we were told it would take to process our final waiver paperwork. After my husband's careful calculation of other waivers processing times in the past few months, he figured out that our new date to anticipate receiving the "denial or the approval notice" is around May 11th. Almost exactly a year from when we thought he would return to the U.S. in 2016. Although, we could very well receive the news at any time. With every day that passes, I only get more anxious for this to all finally be over.

At this time we cannot reveal any type of plan we have for after we receive the thumbs up or the thumbs down from immigration. After a year of talking about it, praying about it, and considering our options, we are unable to make any concrete plans until we know what direction God is leading us in.

In the meantime, we humbly and desperately ask for your prayers. I firmly believe we are in the final leg of this seemingly never-ending marathon we have been a part of together for the last twenty-eight months. And as I sit here trying my hardest to come up with some ingenious statement to say how my faith has grown, sometimes song lyrics say what is on our heart better than our own words ever could.

My new inspirational and encouraging Christian song that I have been listening to these days is "Even If" by MercyMe. I believe that every person that hears this beautiful ballad has their own wave of emotions that sweep through their mind as they listen to the words and the cries of this song. Emotions that were caused by a trial they endured in life. 

At my young age of 23 I have been through some minor setbacks and have had my share of regrets and painful memories from years past, but this monumental, life-altering, current setback that my husband and I refer to as "the situation" would take the prize as being the biggest trial in my life thus far. It is a worry, a burden, and a battle everyday... a fear and a dread that I would not wish on my worst enemy to have your life, dreams, future, and your marriage hanging in the balance. My prayer is that I am able to take the strength, faith, and endurance I have accumulated during this trial to the next inevitable dark patch that the Lord brings me to. I hope that throughout the next 50+ years I have on this earth, God will allow me to walk out of the valley saying "It is well, it is well with my soul" each and every time.