Blank Slate

I stepped out of my warm, eucalyptus-filled bedroom into the hallway where I imagined Pieter standing in the doorway to surprise me with his return. This has been a regular occurrence during many lonely evenings in the past three years, but tonight it seemed almost as if it could be possible. I shuffled back to my bedroom in my over-sized slippers after filling up my humidifier and got back to work, with the music turned up loud to drown out the silence.
I have had the busiest two days off trying to keep up with unavoidable responsibilities such as car maintenance, searching for apartments, grocery shopping, restarting my gym membership, and de-cluttering my bedroom. As I begin this new year, all that is missing is him...

My goals for this year are unusually abstract. I tend to appreciate having a well thought out plan of action, but all my plans tend to veer off into small trails of “what if's” and “maybe so's”. I just cannot seem to figure out where it is I am heading. Maybe you're feeling the same way this time of year when it seems like everyone else has it all figured out. But trust me, they don't.

I had convinced myself I was moving to the Netherlands in 2018. I will admit, running away from this chaos oftentimes seems appealing. My twenties will be half over in July and I feel as if I have very few of my personal goals accomplished. Some people long for a blank slate, but I am about to have one when my husband returns and I do not have a clue what the next chapter will hold!

We are now repeating all of the processes we went through last spring, before border security denied our paperwork. Today was the first appointment for the process in gaining our official marriage visa. Pieter reports that it went well. In two and a half weeks Pieter will have another appointment and after that we will be much closer to the end of all of this. We are excited to be together once again in February!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Pieter and I hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday season spent with family and friends!
As we look forward to the new year we have several important dates set up for Pieter to complete the process of gaining our marriage visa now that the waiver has been approved.

Prayers for a busy month of January are appreciated. Pieter will have a doctor's appointment that is required when applying for a visa and then a visa interview at the Amsterdam consulate in late January. I will keep you posted on the progress of those steps.

We have decided for the new year to be a "transition year" as we figure out where to go next! Pieter hopes to travel over to America for a short visit, pending the approval of his visa interview. 

For now, here is a Christmas greeting from our family to yours! Love to you all during this Christmas season and Happy New Year!
http://www.smilebox.com/playBlog/

Drum Roll Please!

I had imagined the moment over and over again in my head on how we would react to whatever news we received. The “Call me ASAP” text I received from my husband seemed very out of character for him. He's a fairly chill guy. I thought to myself as I had numerous times before, “Could this be about the immigration case?”

I called him and when he told me, I simply did not believe it. I was shocked. It felt so surreal. I kept asking him “So, it's over, it's really over?” and burst into tears.

This will be a Thanksgiving and a Christmas where gratefulness truly abounds. My heart is full as I declare, finally, but in God's perfect timing, that our waiver has been approved!!

It still does not feel like it is real.
We had prepared ourselves for the very worst and were ready to accept it.

So, after years of waiting, praying, and so many ups and downs, what's next?

This exciting new reality also comes along with many important decisions and challenges that we will have to face in the coming months. The waiver is not an instant ticket to the U.S. And other red tape must be sorted through before travel plans can be confirmed.

We also must accept that things will not return to the way they were back in 2014. Pieter and I have grown and changed by leaps and bounds since then and we will have to settle into a new pace of living once we decide where that will be!

We are trying to avoid making hasty decisions regarding the future and will be taking time to sort through the changes and pray about the next steps to take. We are still figuring out the logistics of the year ahead and are both thrilled to move forward and reach goals together in 2018!

It has been your prayers, support, and keeping of the faith that have kept us going. For that, we will always be thankful!

Love to you all this Christmas season,
Pieter and Lydia Tramper

Season of Gratitude and Joy

The laundry has filtered in and out of the washing machine and dryer, the suitcases have migrated to the hallway to make their way up to the attic, and I have settled right back into work as if I never left.

My journey home was long and tiring, as one would expect it to be. I was shuffled from airport to airplane like a piece of worn out luggage. The airline did not accept cash for their food service, so I rationed my mixed nuts and candy bar throughout the six hour flight. 

At 34,000 feet, I sat there in seat 13D thinking about how I had no where to go and no one to talk to. I looked around at the couples and the families that were enjoying traveling together and remembered how just a week earlier, Pieter and I had enjoyed a flight together to Slovenia. Bitterness and confusion built up in my mind as I asked myself “Why me?” for what seemed like the 1000^th time this year... and tears began to roll down my already makeup smeared face. At this point, several hours into my journey, I just didn't care about what anyone thought of me anymore. I scrambled to find a way through this emotional pain and ended up finding comfort in a playlist I named “You Can Do This” -reassuring myself of just that every time I selected a song to add to it. When I finally arrived at Dulles airport I was exhausted, hungry, and relieved.

November has blown in with cold temperatures and a thick reminder that the holidays are right around the corner! I am convinced that we will all be sick of Christmas decorations once December 25^th finally comes along. It seems as if retail and restaurant chains are really rushing it along this year, or maybe it has always been that way and I am just now noticing.

I, too, am guilty of rushing time. I find myself wishing I had soaked up every minute that I had with Pieter during my time there, so I could hold on to every memory he and I made just a little bit longer. As the season of thankfulness and joy comes around I do want to express how overwhelmingly blessed I feel to have two homes where I know that I am surrounded by people that love me.

I want to encourage you today with the reminder that God knows exactly where you are at this very moment. You can be anywhere in the world, and He still sees you and knows you. How humbling is it to know that in this vast and intricate universe YOU are on His mind and YOU mean the most to Him? I pray that with this knowledge you will have peace and hope as you press on in life's inevitable obstacles.

*Stay tuned for an immigration update and a special Christmas greeting in my next blog posts.*

How Did We Get Here?

One year of waiting, growing, worrying, and learning has passed!

For those of you who have recently joined in on reading my blog, I am sure by now you have realized that I am not just vacationing in the Netherlands and enjoying a luxurious life of excessive sightseeing! Shall I give you a recap of how I got here? Here it is in a nutshell, minus the emotional details:

In September 2014 I married Pieter, we flew to the Netherlands for me to meet his family for the very first time in December of that same year. In January 2015, upon our return, he was denied access into the U.S. due to incorrect paperwork. We flew back to Europe together. At the end of February, he stayed there, and I went back home.

We were led to believe that Pieter's visa was approved in May 2016, after months and months of paperwork, money spent, and meetings. Complications arose, the visa was denied, and all celebratory plans were canceled. That summer we worked to put together a waiver. (more paperwork, money spent, and meetings). I have spent the last three years in a pattern of flying back and forth, living two completely opposite lives on either side of "the pond".

It's hard to believe that this journey continues!

The worst part of that whole story was not the waiting or the unknown, although that got pretty unbearable at times, it was not being able to be together during our first years of marriage. 

Dutch Wedding Day 01/02/2015

My husband posted this on facebook earlier today as an update regarding his immigration paperwork status.

"On October 11th 2016 we filed our waiver. It had taken us quite some time to assemble all the required information.

Initially, we were made to believe it was going to take 6 months for immigration to process our application. As the day drew closer we had to find out they had moved the day ahead by another month.

After that month the same thing happened, and kept happening. Every time we are close the date gets pushed ahead even further. We never received any official communication from immigration services whatsoever. All our attempts to submit an inquiry have failed because 'the case is not taking longer than it should'

For now, we have stopped waiting around and moved ahead with our lives. We live in our own apartment and last month I signed a contract that will keep me in my current job until December 2018. Moving to America has gone from dream to nightmare. At this point we are not sure what the future holds for us, but it appears living in America has been put on hold for the foreseeable future.

We do want to thank y'all (see, I could be American) for your continued support. It has meant the world to us!"

Recently, it has been nice to push all of the "waiver" and "immigration status" talk to the side and focus on us, the present, and our future. All too often in life we tend to focus on what is wrong and all of the negative, through doing that, we lose sight of all we DO have and miss out on so much awesome-ness that we could be experiencing!

Tonight, while washing dishes, listening to a mix of Christian music, country music, and 80's hits, this Big Daddy Weave song "Jesus I Believe" came on. Oh how the lyrics spoke to me! I urge you to listen to it today and claim the words as your own. "I'm standing on your promises, I know your Word is true!"

In Need of a Pause Button

I have been told that once time starts to feel like it is flying by, it does not stop and once you have children time only goes by that much quicker. There have been many moments in the past month that I have wanted to freeze time and hold onto it for just a little longer. Any of you who have ever loved, can relate to this desperate feeling.

It is those special moments that make life worth living, that make the bad moods, burnt dinners, and rainy Mondays more bearable.

October is underway, 2018 will be here before we know it! My time in Holland has been busy, fulfilling, and productive. I have a new, welcomed routine in my new, personal space here_ our apartment. My days are spent cleaning (of course, it's unavoidable!) and working from home with my online, U.S., job as a Plexus Ambassador. I enjoy researching and promoting their health and wellness products as I have always been fascinated by the human body and it's functions. I look forward to continuing my personal journey to better health while educating others on the importance of their own gut health.

September 13th, Pieter and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary with a simple dinner date at a restaurant on the water. Very quaint. I had ribs and he ordered a meat trio (these dishes describe our personalities well). It is hard to believe we have only been married three years, as it seems I have known Pieter my whole life. 

We celebrated Pieter's 30^th birthday by inviting family over to our apartment for a semi-traditional Dutch birthday party with lots of food. A traditional Dutch birthday party begins with cake, chocolate, and coffee, proceeds to a round of meat and cheese with beer, wine, juice, or soda, and ends with a salty snack mix or chips with more beer or another drink of choice. 

                                                                                                     

Along with becoming more accustom to the Dutch way of life, I also continue to embrace the Dutch language and look forward to the day I can declare myself bi-lingual. Through my Dutch lessons that I attend twice a week at the local library, I have discovered that I already possess a general understanding of the language and am familiar with a wide array of Dutch vocabulary. It is the confidence to speak it that I must work on. I look forward to my lessons each week as I share the learning experience with a culturally diverse group of people. My classmates are from the Czech Republic, Somalia, Poland, and Japan. I am the only American in the class, but everyone speaks a bit of English.

Leaves changing color even here in the Netherlands!

The train station in Arnemuiden 

I never would have imagined that these streets would become so familiar to me. 

The Tramper residence 

One of my favorite places to walk.

Pieter took a day off of work last week for the two of us to visit one of my favorite towns here, Veere. We got some lovely pictures as it was a beautiful, sunny day.

In the past few weeks I have taken some time to reflect on how drastically I have changed since my first, original visit to Arnemuiden back in 2014. It amazes me to think of the young, shy, and inexperienced person I used to be. I am sure many of you can say the same about yourselves! I have grown in ways and learned life lessons that I never would have if this situation had never occurred. I could construct an entire novel based solely on the adventures, turmoil, and elation I have faced throughout this particular segment on this journey called life. 

So, what is up ahead in the near future? Well, more of the same. I will be embracing each new day and every moment I get to spend here in this new place I call my home with my wonderful husband. We have an exciting, adventurous trip coming up at the end of October that I am looking forward to! I will be back home to the States in early November.

When will the back and forth lifestyle end? For those of you still wondering about the status of our waiver with immigration, it will officially be a year since we submitted it, next week. No news so far. We suspect that one day we will hear from immigration, but until then, we choose not to worry and advise all of you to do the same. All in God's perfect timing.

Until next time, warm wishes on this windy day in Holland!  

Oh The Places You Can Go!

We have come a long way and it is finally setting in that we have a place of our own now here in Arnemuiden! The feeling is surreal after all we have been through.

Pieter's family has been more than understanding as we have come and gone from their home so many times. I remember back in 2015 we were living out of just one bedroom. We were ecstatic when our search for a place just for the two of us ended and we found a small (very small) room for two on a housing website. That accommodation lasted for about three days and we were back at the Tramper's! God has always provided us with a roof over our head and people to take care of us nearby.

Our next home was in Aagtekerke, nearly twenty minutes outside of Arnemuiden and nothing very useful nearby. We made some great memories in that tiny little trailer that was placed in the backyard of some much larger homes. It was there that we tried an "only fruits and vegetables" diet (short-lived), it was there where I finished up my online degree in Psychology, and where I watched scary movies by myself while I waited for Pieter to get back from work. The owners of that rental home were a true blessing to let us stay there for many many months as the unknown of Pieter's visa continued to weigh us down daily.

After a long fall and winter in Aagtekerke, we knew we had to be moving on. One should not overstay their welcome! So, after scrolling through dozens of housing websites and contacting many reluctant home owners, we came across a quaint beach home in Oostkapelle. This house brought us new hope as we lived there at the time where Pieter's visa was approved and everything was looking very bright for our future! I can close my eyes and remember a day spent in Oostkapelle just like it was yesterday. I had the TLC tv guide memorized and the television stayed on almost all day, keeping me company in the quiet of this spacious home.

Our time in the Oostkappelle beach house, with so much possibility in the air, was brief. After I spent a summer back in the U.S. our search for a new residence had to begin again. By this time, the monotony of packing and unpacking had worn us down. There was no excitement and newness to a new home, and we began to feel tired of having nothing to really call "our own"...

Upon  my next arrival in the chilly air of a late Dutch fall, we had found a vacation rental on the other side of Oostkapelle that was a renovated barn. How neat! We resided here and celebrated our first Thanksgiving together as a married couple. I joined in on the festivities of Saint Nicolas Day and we took our first Christmas card photo together right outside that home in the freezing cold. At this time, we had learned to make the most of every moment and to be thankful for the provisions God had allowed us during our journey from house to house.

Just this past spring, trip number seven for me, we were fortunate enough to be able to occupy Pieter's grandmother's home. With so much space and so many memories from years gone by seeping from the walls and the framework, we were truly grateful for the opportunity to reside in this home. We enjoyed picnics on the roof, watching gorgeous sunsets over the railroad tracks, evening strolls down the abandoned lane nearby, and having a garden to plant and maintain. Beautiful spring and summer days were spent there in the very last days the home would remain in the Tramper family. It was an honor to call it home for the short time that I did.

Now, another Tramper home is in the making. A small (not as small as our first place) apartment near the center of town. With a touch of Pieter's sharp style and a sprinkle of Lydia's colorful charm we are busy making this ordinary space into a haven of safety, love, and hope for ourselves. It was a long journey to get here and we anticipate adding much more to this journey as the years go by.