My Time In Holland

I flew in last Thursday after a pleasant, but long, flight. Exhaustion and jetlag hit me like a load of bricks and I basically slept away my first week here!

Summer in the Netherlands is nothing like home. It seems to be consistently windy here and the average temperature is mid-sixties. Feels more like spring. I'll know better next time to pack more sweaters and less swimsuits!

I have a gorgeous view out my window and can see for miles as the land is so flat, but I do miss my mountains. The sun does not completely set here until after 11pm... this makes it difficult for me to go to sleep at a normal time and just throws me off in general. 

My Dutch life is back to it's usual daily grind. I seem to forget what my life is like here every time I leave and then return again. New house, same routine! 

I get more and more used to this countries habits every time I visit. I figure after a while I may actually start to fit in! I have memorized the aisles of the grocery store to make my grocery list in order. I can now comfortably order from a Dutch menu at a restaurant. And the small sizes of everything do not bother me quite as much! The Dutch minimalistic life is growing on me! I have yet to get used to the bikes though...

I am only here for two more weeks, so I have begun planning my next trip that I suspect will not be as short as this one. News on Pieter's hopeful return to the States will not occur for many many more months, but upon my return to America I will be finalizing paperwork for his waiver and we will spend many months asking for God's favor in that situation. Whether God wants my future to be in the Shenandoah Valley or in Zeeland, only He knows. I am working everyday to accept whichever way it may go. 

Voyage Number Nine

Next week I will make my ninth voyage across the ocean to be with my husband. I think of this short trip as a sort of "vacation" for the two of us after the traumatic mess we went through earlier this year. When I kissed my husband goodbye at the airport on May 1st we thought we would only be apart for a few weeks. That time turned into two very long, sad, and lonely months for both of us. Pieter has been working almost non-stop day in and day out trying to save money on his end and I have been working as many hours as I can to pay for our immigration-oriented bills (plane tickets, waiver fees, and lawyer fees). This has left very little time for fun as the summer is almost half over!

I will only be able to visit for a few weeks, but we have every intention of making every minute count as we will be apart for quite a few months after this trip. We hope to have this I-601 waiver completed by August and sent in by September. It has involved a lot more time and paperwork than either of us anticipated. For all that have contributed with letters or financial donations_ thank you!

Whenever someone asks about how the process is going and are wondering why in the world my husband has not returned yet, I mention this "waiver" business. To help clear up some of the mystery, here is what this waiver is all about:

In order to fully understand it, I must start from the beginning! When Pieter interviewed at the U.S. Consulate in Amsterdam and they gave him the approval, we all celebrated and sighed with relief because he would get to return to America and we could finally be together! We celebrated because the U.S. Consulate is supposed to have the last say in any visa case. We did not suspect that there could be a change in the results the next day. Well, there was.

When Pieter's approval got changed to "in administrative processing" that meant that U.S. border control was reviewing the case once more... they suspected something. 

When they scanned their database they found that my husband was recorded as having given a false statement in an airport interview by answering "no" to the question of "have you ever overstayed a visa?"   Pieter's work visa expired in September, the month we got married. He and I were both under the impression that once you married a U.S. citizen you were fine to remain in the United States. To our surprise, that rule had changed. Therefore, Pieter's reply of "no" to this question, was considered a lie.

We are now where we are simply because of misinformation and misunderstanding. It is rough knowing that something so seemingly minute could cause such a ruckus in the system and cause a newly married couple to spend months at a time apart from one another. If only we could have the chance to state our piece and make our intentions known, I truly believe this could all be cleared up with a conversation. But we are now thrown into a pile of other discouraged individuals, criminals, and likely terrorists who are trying to make their way into the country.

The waiver that we are working on filing is based solely on me and my life circumstances at the moment. I must prove to the USCIS that I am in extreme hardship without my husband here with me. Medical, spiritual, educational, financial, mental, and familial reasons can be given to plead my case. I must accurately back each reason up with documents regarding how these are extreme hardships. I feel tremendous pressure to complete this task and am deeply saddened that it has come to this.

As a wife who has been put in such a desperate position, I am determined to get my case heard, so I have made the decision to contact various government officials to inform them about my situation. If anyone reading this knows of a community, state, or other government leader that I should contact, please contact me by email or through facebook. We greatly appreciate all encouragement, prayers, and positivity as ours runs low on difficult days!

I appreciate prayers for safe travels, as well as peace in our hearts as we have to depart from one another once again in just a few weeks. Words cannot even begin to describe how much I am ready for all of this to be over. . .

Purpose in the Pain

Having no end in sight is draining. While it is exhausting to complain about my situation all the time, it is also exhausting to pretend that I am fine.

The real answer to the common question of "How are you?" will always be "not fine" . . . I am not fine. Would you be fine if the love of your life was torn away from you and you were forced to live out your marriage in two separate countries, not able to do even ordinary everyday things together? Or would you be fine if you were told that that special loved one would be allowed back with you and then had that joy ripped away from you? At times my heart physically begins aching to be with my husband, but there is no way for me to get to him. 

After receiving word that our marriage visa was most definitely denied, we were optimistic about the next step. The waiver process seemed like it would go smoothly and we were ready to get it done and wrap all of this up!

Reality is, the waiver is going to take a while to put together. Information is needed to prove my extreme need to have my husband here with me in the States and it is not definite that the waiver will be granted. 

Throughout this entire series of unfortunate events I have never really gotten angry. I have spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself, feeling lonely, feeling confused, and feeling extremely sad, but never angry. The more I consider our situation and the honest individuals we are, the more I know I should be angry about what has happened to us, but never do. 

The way I see it, God knew this was coming and He knows when, or if, it will end. I cannot seem to find meaning in all of the lonely nights, missed opportunities, and tears shed, but I do know that with God, there is always a purpose with the pain. He will see us through. . .

With A Little Help From My Friends

The week of horrible news has finally ended and Pieter and I are moving forward with determination! Continuing to maintain a marriage while communicating through limited time over skyping conversations and working around a six hour time difference is stressful. Long distance has become our usual by now, but I would give just about anything to have even a day to be with my husband in person.

I continue to work at Cracker Barrel as a waitress and Pieter is working in the Netherlands with a temp agency at a fertilizer packaging company. We both enjoy our jobs and are thankful to have a steady income, as well as, understanding employers who know a little about our situation and allow me to leave for short period's of time to visit Pieter in the Netherlands.

This past week we have been working with our immigration lawyer to come up with a plan of action in getting Pieter's waiver packet completed and turned in. We hoped to have this accomplished by the beginning of June. The next countdown of 3-5 months for processing will begin once the fees are paid and the packet is mailed. 

With this waiver comes a fee that we were anticipating and that we, with our small salaries, could handle. It also came with another unexpected fee for processing. This payment must be made before any more progress on the waiver can take place. The result of waiting to save up enough money means Pieter's return will continue to be pushed further and further away.

Both Pieter and I feel immensely blessed from the amount of prayers and steady followers that did not drop us at the first sign of delay in the beginning! We can truly say to those who have been able to keep up- wow ... and thank you! And to those who have shown concern and given much needed hugs- thank you!

We ask each of you now, humbly, and with grateful hearts, that you would be in prayer and consideration of helping me and Pieter with the processing fees in order to quickly file the waiver and bring Pieter back to America.
Please view and share our fundraising page here:
https://www.youcaring.com/pieter-and-lydia-tramper-577254

The Roller Coaster of Recent Events

On May 3rd we all celebrated together in approaching the finish line as Pieter's visa was approved! Invitations were sent out for the welcome back party, the caterer and venue were booked, and the balloons and streamers were purchased in preparation for his arrival. On May 12th we learned that the visa would need more processing before being issued and on May 17th Pieter's visa was denied. We spent that day completely falling apart as our future and our plans had been shattered. Our hope was renewed just the next day when Pieter received a friendly phone call saying he could meet at the consulate once more on Friday, May 20th. This gave us more time of waiting for answers and built up hope. Pieter's visa was officially refused that day and we began facing the facts, picking up the pieces, and making a plan for the next segment of paperwork and waiting.

As many of you can imagine after following us in this journey, this new set of news comes as a shock to us and we can officially say we are worn out.

Having been on twelve flights in a time-frame of eighteen months is not adventurous, spontaneous, or exciting to me_ I see it as nearly $6,000 spent that could have been used to save for a house or a future family.

Due to this new setback, our future has been put on hold once again. Starting a family, beginning careers, and me returning to school is something that will have to be put off for yet another year.
In all of this, the hardest part is having this amazing man who I fell in love with and vowed to share life with who is an ocean away from me. I keep wanting to turn around and see him right there. But he's not, he hasn't been for quite awhile. Being apart has not gotten any easier with time. I hate coming home from work after a long day and not having him here to talk to about everything that happened or even to just sit quietly with.

I already had a return flight booked because for some reason, round-trip tickets are more affordable than one way tickets. I will be flying back to the Netherlands in July to spend a short time with my husband before returning to America in August. Our next phase is to file a waiver, with the help of our lawyer, to clear up any confusion with border control. This can take anywhere from 3-5 months. Our prayer is that it goes smoothly with no other hiccups in the process!

I am no good at answering questions about immigration. I do not know how any of this works. All I know is that America has rules for individuals who come into our country. Border control tries hard to guard those borders in order to keep us safe. Rules are meant to be followed and we are following the proper procedure that they require. There is no magic way or special person to get him back into America. Trust me, if there was, I would have found it by now!

With this reality we now know that 2016 is another year of hoping, waiting, and wondering when and if this will ever be over. After having a week of looking forward to Pieter's return and making plans to go car shopping, house shopping, and imagining things we would do together this summer, some days it seems almost impossible to move forward in yet another segment of being a long distance wife.

Too Good To Be True

My initial reaction was shock and disbelief. Then I found myself determined to stay strong, look for answers, and act as if I could conquer anything that came my way! Now, for the past hour, I have found myself wrapped under heaps of blankets, crying my eyes out into my pillow as I have done so many times before.

I tried taking a hot shower, saying a humble prayer, walking outside for fresh air, reading God's Word, and listening to inspiring music, but sometimes there just isn't anything that takes away that body aching feeling that comes with bad news and disappointment.

It was too good to be true. My heart and mind were never both convinced that my husband would walk onto American soil on Tuesday. Back before all this happened I found myself to be a real dreamer, a hopeless romantic. I was a fairly positive person in times of trouble. This situation has taught me to keep a level head and to be realistic, as well as skeptical.

Disappointment after disappointment, Pieter and I always bounce back, right? This just seems to be the last straw. As many of you can understand after following our journey thus far, through ups and downs, joy and frustration_ here's the new news:

The Consular's office gave my husband a call this morning letting him know that his visa approval would need extra administrative processing. This basically means there is a glitch in the approval that was given, likely due to the overstay that occurred in 2014. The United States sees this as a potential risk factor and needs to further review the paperwork in order to be sure everything is cleared for Pieter's return. While the lady on the phone was quite optimistic about the task at hand, I have my doubts. The internet claims this can take up to 60 days to review, but the kind lady on the phone reported that it may be settled by next Tuesday.

At this point, the day or time does not even matter. This just means more waiting, shattered plans, and failed hope.

As we try to stand strong, we ask again for your prayers. Prayers for our hurting hearts that long to be together, prayers for strength once more to get through this obstacle, and prayers for the resolution of this setback to come quickly!

The Long-awaited News!

In the time we have had our future on hold I have gone through three laptops, three winter coats, gained more than 30 pounds, worried more than I thought was possible, had moments when I just thought I couldn't do it any longer, lived in four different houses, visited over ten different countries, and flown across the Atlantic a total of eight times. I can now say with relief and joy in my heart... my husband's visa has been approved and he will be returning to the U.S. in just a couple weeks!

In December of 2014 I had only been married for a few months, I had never been out of the country, and I did not realize just how much I had to learn about life.

Now, almost seventeen months later, here I am, feeling like a completely different person. As the days go by, people change, we learn more about ourselves, and we learn more about life.

In the fall of 2014 I became Pieter Tramper's wife and we began our life together. As newlyweds, we anxiously anticipated our trip to Arnemuiden, Netherlands to visit his family for just three weeks. We made plans for me to visit family members, participate in traditions, and for us to have a Dutch wedding. Learning about their food, language, and lifestyle was all so interesting and overwhelming in those three weeks.

January 8th, 2015 is when Pieter and I said a sad good-bye to his relatives and boarded the plane back to the U.S. We were thrilled to see what 2015 had in store for us! I was going to go back to school to get my medical assistant certification and Pieter was going to work at Brethren Woods again. 

After a whole day of traveling and a night spent at a Swedish airport getting no sleep, we made it to America, tired, sick, and smelly. Together we went through the motions of security checks and baggage claims, but at customs my husband was pulled to the side and was denied access into the United States due to an invalid visa.

Fast forward through the most traumatizing night of my life, I found myself back in the airport the next day, praying harder than I ever had in my life. God answered prayer and reunited us once again. Back in Europe, we realized just how dreadful our situation was.
I was in Holland until the end of February and then made the decision to be apart from my husband for five months. We were devastated by the harsh reality, being that this was our first year as husband and wife. 

Upon returning to the Netherlands in August, the weather was warm and beautiful. We began making plans to have a life there. We bought a car, rented a home, went on trips, bought groceries together every Saturday morning, and started making memories. This took away from the frustration of paperwork and the realization that my husband was not allowed in my country.

   

I flew back to America to be with my family over the holidays that winter. I planned to only be there for only a few weeks, but due to the Netherlands tourist visa rules, I was not allowed back for another two months. I flew back at the end of February in 2016 and now, here we are!

Back and forth I have gone, up and down in the sky, over the ocean, and back onto land. I am grateful to have had that extended time to get to know my Dutch relatives. There is now a special place in my heart for that beautiful country and the wonderful people I met there.

As many of you have taken this journey with us and read through the frustration, sadness, and joy, I thank you! Knowing that we can begin building our life and living out our dreams soon is extraordinary! The moments I have longed for and imagined in my head throughout this time will all be coming true. Thanks to your prayers, God has heard our hearts, taught us patience, and seen us through this long, difficult time.

Stay tuned to see what's next for us in this big adventure called life!