The Roller Coaster of Recent Events

On May 3rd we all celebrated together in approaching the finish line as Pieter's visa was approved! Invitations were sent out for the welcome back party, the caterer and venue were booked, and the balloons and streamers were purchased in preparation for his arrival. On May 12th we learned that the visa would need more processing before being issued and on May 17th Pieter's visa was denied. We spent that day completely falling apart as our future and our plans had been shattered. Our hope was renewed just the next day when Pieter received a friendly phone call saying he could meet at the consulate once more on Friday, May 20th. This gave us more time of waiting for answers and built up hope. Pieter's visa was officially refused that day and we began facing the facts, picking up the pieces, and making a plan for the next segment of paperwork and waiting.

As many of you can imagine after following us in this journey, this new set of news comes as a shock to us and we can officially say we are worn out.

Having been on twelve flights in a time-frame of eighteen months is not adventurous, spontaneous, or exciting to me_ I see it as nearly $6,000 spent that could have been used to save for a house or a future family.

Due to this new setback, our future has been put on hold once again. Starting a family, beginning careers, and me returning to school is something that will have to be put off for yet another year.
In all of this, the hardest part is having this amazing man who I fell in love with and vowed to share life with who is an ocean away from me. I keep wanting to turn around and see him right there. But he's not, he hasn't been for quite awhile. Being apart has not gotten any easier with time. I hate coming home from work after a long day and not having him here to talk to about everything that happened or even to just sit quietly with.

I already had a return flight booked because for some reason, round-trip tickets are more affordable than one way tickets. I will be flying back to the Netherlands in July to spend a short time with my husband before returning to America in August. Our next phase is to file a waiver, with the help of our lawyer, to clear up any confusion with border control. This can take anywhere from 3-5 months. Our prayer is that it goes smoothly with no other hiccups in the process!

I am no good at answering questions about immigration. I do not know how any of this works. All I know is that America has rules for individuals who come into our country. Border control tries hard to guard those borders in order to keep us safe. Rules are meant to be followed and we are following the proper procedure that they require. There is no magic way or special person to get him back into America. Trust me, if there was, I would have found it by now!

With this reality we now know that 2016 is another year of hoping, waiting, and wondering when and if this will ever be over. After having a week of looking forward to Pieter's return and making plans to go car shopping, house shopping, and imagining things we would do together this summer, some days it seems almost impossible to move forward in yet another segment of being a long distance wife.

Too Good To Be True

My initial reaction was shock and disbelief. Then I found myself determined to stay strong, look for answers, and act as if I could conquer anything that came my way! Now, for the past hour, I have found myself wrapped under heaps of blankets, crying my eyes out into my pillow as I have done so many times before.

I tried taking a hot shower, saying a humble prayer, walking outside for fresh air, reading God's Word, and listening to inspiring music, but sometimes there just isn't anything that takes away that body aching feeling that comes with bad news and disappointment.

It was too good to be true. My heart and mind were never both convinced that my husband would walk onto American soil on Tuesday. Back before all this happened I found myself to be a real dreamer, a hopeless romantic. I was a fairly positive person in times of trouble. This situation has taught me to keep a level head and to be realistic, as well as skeptical.

Disappointment after disappointment, Pieter and I always bounce back, right? This just seems to be the last straw. As many of you can understand after following our journey thus far, through ups and downs, joy and frustration_ here's the new news:

The Consular's office gave my husband a call this morning letting him know that his visa approval would need extra administrative processing. This basically means there is a glitch in the approval that was given, likely due to the overstay that occurred in 2014. The United States sees this as a potential risk factor and needs to further review the paperwork in order to be sure everything is cleared for Pieter's return. While the lady on the phone was quite optimistic about the task at hand, I have my doubts. The internet claims this can take up to 60 days to review, but the kind lady on the phone reported that it may be settled by next Tuesday.

At this point, the day or time does not even matter. This just means more waiting, shattered plans, and failed hope.

As we try to stand strong, we ask again for your prayers. Prayers for our hurting hearts that long to be together, prayers for strength once more to get through this obstacle, and prayers for the resolution of this setback to come quickly!

The Long-awaited News!

In the time we have had our future on hold I have gone through three laptops, three winter coats, gained more than 30 pounds, worried more than I thought was possible, had moments when I just thought I couldn't do it any longer, lived in four different houses, visited over ten different countries, and flown across the Atlantic a total of eight times. I can now say with relief and joy in my heart... my husband's visa has been approved and he will be returning to the U.S. in just a couple weeks!

In December of 2014 I had only been married for a few months, I had never been out of the country, and I did not realize just how much I had to learn about life.

Now, almost seventeen months later, here I am, feeling like a completely different person. As the days go by, people change, we learn more about ourselves, and we learn more about life.

In the fall of 2014 I became Pieter Tramper's wife and we began our life together. As newlyweds, we anxiously anticipated our trip to Arnemuiden, Netherlands to visit his family for just three weeks. We made plans for me to visit family members, participate in traditions, and for us to have a Dutch wedding. Learning about their food, language, and lifestyle was all so interesting and overwhelming in those three weeks.

January 8th, 2015 is when Pieter and I said a sad good-bye to his relatives and boarded the plane back to the U.S. We were thrilled to see what 2015 had in store for us! I was going to go back to school to get my medical assistant certification and Pieter was going to work at Brethren Woods again. 

After a whole day of traveling and a night spent at a Swedish airport getting no sleep, we made it to America, tired, sick, and smelly. Together we went through the motions of security checks and baggage claims, but at customs my husband was pulled to the side and was denied access into the United States due to an invalid visa.

Fast forward through the most traumatizing night of my life, I found myself back in the airport the next day, praying harder than I ever had in my life. God answered prayer and reunited us once again. Back in Europe, we realized just how dreadful our situation was.
I was in Holland until the end of February and then made the decision to be apart from my husband for five months. We were devastated by the harsh reality, being that this was our first year as husband and wife. 

Upon returning to the Netherlands in August, the weather was warm and beautiful. We began making plans to have a life there. We bought a car, rented a home, went on trips, bought groceries together every Saturday morning, and started making memories. This took away from the frustration of paperwork and the realization that my husband was not allowed in my country.

   

I flew back to America to be with my family over the holidays that winter. I planned to only be there for only a few weeks, but due to the Netherlands tourist visa rules, I was not allowed back for another two months. I flew back at the end of February in 2016 and now, here we are!

Back and forth I have gone, up and down in the sky, over the ocean, and back onto land. I am grateful to have had that extended time to get to know my Dutch relatives. There is now a special place in my heart for that beautiful country and the wonderful people I met there.

As many of you have taken this journey with us and read through the frustration, sadness, and joy, I thank you! Knowing that we can begin building our life and living out our dreams soon is extraordinary! The moments I have longed for and imagined in my head throughout this time will all be coming true. Thanks to your prayers, God has heard our hearts, taught us patience, and seen us through this long, difficult time.

Stay tuned to see what's next for us in this big adventure called life!

 

Blessing in Disguise

We are coming to the end of this long journey and we can feel that our simple world is about to change in a big way!

While I will not have complete peace and relief until my husband's feet are actually back on American soil, the date we had been waiting to receive, we now have!

After arriving back in the Netherlands for the fourth time in sixteen months, I scrambled to find a new home for us to live in for the rest of our stay here. We moved from one vacation home to another_ from Aagtekerke to Oostkapelle. We are grateful for the generous people who have given Pieter and I a place to call our "temporary home". We have learned to adapt to any space we are given and make it home, but we look forward to the day we can have a house of our own.

Pieter and I have been holding back our plans and ambitions as we have made the best of our stay here in Holland. Knowing we can finally begin our life together in just a few weeks now is thrilling and overwhelming at the same time! We have had the opportunity to get to know each other so much more and our dreams have only gotten bigger throughout this time!

Just the day before we received the news about the interview, I had already booked my flight back to the U.S. Many lists of pros and cons were made and I decided to make my way back to the States at the beginning of May in order to return to work and collect some savings for a foundation for our new life. We expect Pieter to fly back right behind me around the end of May or beginning of June at the latest.

We know that this all happened for a reason. We have been able to spend time with Pieter's family and make memories together in Pieter's home country. This ride has not been without it's stresses, but looking back on the months behind us, Pieter and I agree that this time has been a true blessing in disguise.

Madame Tussaud's wax museum in Amsterdam

Sean Connery and Pieter 

Lydia and E.T. 

The hustle and bustle of Amsterdam

Anatomy museum_ so amazing!

Fun time with family

 

I have been back in the Netherlands for a week now and continue to try and mold back into my "other life". To everyone back at home, you're missed! The life I have here is the complete opposite of how I live in America and it makes me feel like a different person.

My flight to Belgium started off with a three hour delay. Everyone had already boarded the plane, so cranky adults and screaming children were trapped in this large metal tube for a few extra hours together! Lucky for me, the two seats next to me were empty, so I stretched out and took a nap for basically the entire flight.

Upon arriving in Brussels, I had devised a plan for what I would do if they denied my returning to Europe due to my slight overstay last year. I wanted to be prepared for any possible situation. I ended up talking with a very kind gentleman at border control who let me right in as if he and I had been lifelong friends. He was so welcoming after I had imagined the worst scenario and had built up all my defenses to get them to let me in. Thank you Belgium for being so nice!

The walk to baggage claim seemed to never end. It had to be on the opposite side of the airport! I was so drowsy from my airplane nap and my mind was convinced that it was only four in the morning, American time. My suitcase was one of the first on the carousel and then I was on my way for Pieter to welcome me for what seemed like the twentieth time we had done this. A rainy drive "home" welcomed me back into Holland and from the looks of the flat fields, windmills, and small cars, nothing had changed here!

News on Pieter's visa continues to remain stagnant. The day we countdown to now is March 23rd, which is forty-five days after the papers were received the second time. That is the latest possible day we can hear about when Pieter's interview will be scheduled. That day CANNOT come fast enough. We are so close to the finish line, I can taste it. I can see the welcome back balloons and the plane tickets in our hands, but still... we wait. 

Fourteen months of living this way really can get to you. Near the end of this month we will be looking for another place to live and options are few as spring and summer are popular times for tourists to take up every possible nook and cranny to enjoy the Netherlands beauty. I struggle with the unsettling feeling of not knowing what is next and having to just take it take by day... not my thing.

Beautiful rainy day!

The lunch I pack for Pieter everyday. It's part of my routine!

I brought a little piece of home (and Cracker Barrel) with me. You can't find Yankee Candles here! 

Raisin bread for breakfast, thank you Oma! 

Lydia's attempt at making dinner, so colorful!

Movie night in the new theater in Vlissingen

Nachos with really strong Dutch cheese

Way too fancy desserts, but still tasty.

Pieter and Lydia Update!

For all who are keeping up with the process of my husband's visa via my blog, here is your update!

Last week we were under the impression that we had just a few more days of waiting left until Pieter's interview would be scheduled. We had waited the 30 days as well as an additional 15 days for the National Visa Center to review our paperwork. On Friday, January 22nd we received devastating news that although our paperwork had been reviewed it was missing many of the required scanned documents and one of the financial forms.
At that point, Pieter and I had had our hopes up for planning for his interview and his return to America.

This "hang up" will cause us to have to wait another 45 days for the NVC to review our completed packet. We are now waiting to hear that they have received all the new information and I plan to give them a call mid-next week.

Both Pieter and I are anxious for the month of February to arrive, because that is when I am able to fly back to be with him again. Being together makes this process a little more bearable and I guess, at this point, I cannot be picky as to where we wait it all out, as long as we can be side by side, legally residing somewhere!

Once I get to the Netherlands I am able to be there for only three months. It would be ideal for Pieter and I to fly back together in the spring. Having a restricted time limit makes things stressful! Once we receive an "okay" from the National Visa Center they will schedule his interview, he will undergo a physical evaluation, and if all goes well we will be able to book our flights!

There have been multiple hurdles as we have gone through this process the past 14 months. Last February I remember talking with the lawyer via skype, discussing our options and learning just how challenging it would be to get my husband back to Virginia. In February of 2015 I flew back to the U.S. in order to make money to pay for our lawyer expenses. We waited six months to receive an email from the USCIS reporting that Pieter's case was accepted. It took three months to put together all the financial forms, tax forms, and visa application last fall and now we are so close to being done. . .

Please be in prayer for the final stages of this long, difficult journey. Pray specifically that God would allow Pieter and I to travel back to the U.S. together when that time comes and also that we do not undergo anymore "hold ups".

We thank each of you for seeing us through this time and I cannot wait to celebrate with you all when we receive word that Pieter can return!

So Close...

A year ago today I experienced the most traumatic day of my life to date. Since January 9th, 2015 I have grown in ways I never thought would be necessary. A year ago today my husband was denied access into the United States because we did not have a marriage visa.

Since our marriage in September 2014 we have spent more time apart from each other than we have spent together. The strain that this brings on both of us as individuals and as a couple is too extensive to describe. We spend a lot of days wondering if this extended time of separation will affect us in the years to come.

While we have strong reasons to believe that the time of waiting for our proper visa paperwork to get filed is near, we find these last few weeks/months to be especially challenging. Days spent with my life on hold become tiring. I graduate with my Associate's degree in Psychology from Liberty University Online in May of this year. I am ecstatic to finally be finished with step one of many exciting and hopeful plans I have for our future.

I talk to God every night before falling asleep, asking Him to let us begin our life together again, to give us the opportunity to work on building a strong foundation for our marriage, and faithfully telling Him that He will receive all the glory on the day of Pieter's return to America.